All hail the Bavarian King Ludwig II

Castle anyone?

In Germany they say you have to try a pretzel, bratwurst and castle. What better castle than that of a supposed mentally insane reclusive Bavarian king? This took us to a modestly early 10:30 am train heading for Füssen, a small ski town which sits beside Neuschwanstein Castle.

The Bavarian king Ludwig II was what we, of the Pork Chop Express, call a freaky-super-duper-fan (in German, superpersonduperfanner). A freaky-super-duper-fan has a few requirements, rules, and regulations:

First, you must be irrationally obsessed with something completely tangential to your immediate needs or sustainability. So food, water, shelter, drugs, or trade does not count. Looting, plundering, and pillaging doesn't count either.

Second you must be obsessed to the point where you desire to, with no economical regard, invest in said tangential thing. By investment, of course, we do not mean the random occasional ticket purchase. What we mean to say is, themed pajama set with the bed sheets, pillow case, slippers, apron, soap, cereal box, cereal toy, hair curlers, etc.

From: http://www.popularwealth.com/index.php/neuschwanstein-castle-one-of-the-worlds-most-beautiful

Third you must attempt, successfully or unsuccessfully, to contact or get in touch with this tangential thing. This may require a change of religious beliefs, possibly creating your own religion or changing a well established religion. This could involve trying to summon the dead, summon the devil, or talk to rocks.

Fourth, you must under completely irrational thought processes (plural) allow this thing to sway you from any and all semblance of self-made reason. While this thing may be in your best interests, it doesn't have to be. We at the Pork Chop find it easier to identify a super-freaking-duper-fan if the interest is not best.

Fifth, you must always agree and act according to the tangent. This could be at the detriment of others, ranging from one person o an entire nation of people. The tangent must be at the top of your list at all times. Nothing should stand in its way... nothing.

We can safely say that we the Pork Chop Express are super-freaking-duper-fans of James Woods. This is how we are able to identify this class of person. And while we have an undying love for James Woods, Ludwig II had an even more impressive obsession with Richard Wagner, the well-known opera composer. This leads us full circle to the castle Neuschwanstein.

The entire castle is built in the honor of Richard Wagner. The castle construction, designed by Wagner's stage artist, combines two of Wagner's operas. Each room is a different theme from a different opera. The castle was built at the expense of the wonderful Bavarian taxpayers. But that was not all. Wagner was recruited from hiding to be a resident at his own theme-park castle. All of Wagner's debt, which was substantial, was paid. Wagner was given an unlimited budget to do as he pleased. This in hindsight may have been a bad idea.

In the pursuit of his admiration for Wagner, Ludwig II made plans to actually create several more castles. Oh, we must interject here that at this time, castles were kind of pointless, and these castles were being built in far off secluded regions to boot. Poor Ludwig II was even declared mentally unstable by his own government and condemned to spend the remainder of his days in a sanitarium. But before he was able to full-fill this obligation, he mysteriously drowned in the river.

From: http://picasaweb.google.com/jrisenberg/Germany2008#5214542503926748290

The story of Ludwig's death is the pinnacle of the tour. Unfortunately, this story is about as interesting as the number of steps in Nueschwanstein Castle. Less than two weeks after his death, Neuschwanstein was opened as a museum. A freaky-super-duper-fan was replaced by tour guides.

Still eager for reimbursement and for a stiff price, tour guides walk you through the castle entirely too quickly, speaking only of the number of stairs to climb, and completely manage to avoid the rich history or themes painted on the walls. There is no photography allowed. Once shuffled through, they in non-elegance, bitterly shoo you away to a series of gift shops and expensive snack bars. Nueschwanstein was a magical castle de-magicified.